I passed!

I passed the bar exam and will be sworn in at the end of the month. That is a huge relief.

I am thinking about starting my own law firm while continuing to work in my current part-time job. We will see what happens. I think that, as of right now, I would want it to be officially open for business in January 2010, but things could change. I'm nervous about the idea, but I also have a couple of good mentors, so I'm not as nervous about it as I once was.

I am still applying for jobs, and getting a lot of rejection letters and emails. The economy is (I'm going to state the obvious) unbelievably tough right now for job-seekers.

Rat Dog had surgery on Wednesday. He had a "mass" removed from his leg, and he had his teeth cleaned. He is not supposed to jump onto furniture or run up/down the stairs for ten days. This is supposed to prevent his stitches from ripping. He loves to run and jump, so it has been really difficult. He also has to wear a cone in order to prevent him from licking his stitches. It is really exhausting; I can't imagine how exhausting it must be to be a parent to a toddler. Dealing with post-surgery Rat Dog is enough for me right now.

We are still waiting to hear whether his mass was an infected bug bite or a bad (cancerous) tumor. I am really hoping that it was a bug bite.

Other than that, not much is new around here.

Hello Neglected Blog

I survived the bar exam. I won't find out whether I passed until October 8, so I am trying my best to forget about it. So far, I'm doing a pretty good job. I've only had 2 nightmares about it; way better than all of the nightmares that I had after 1L exams.

Without going into too much detail, a certain part of my life isn't working out very well right now. Luckily, I have time to straighten that out. Plenty of "down" time, in fact. As an ENFJ, I like things to be decided and I like to have things planned out. I was so happy in April when I thought that I had things planned out with that aspect of my life. Right now I am sacrificing a little bit of my sanity (the part that likes to have a clear path to follow) in order to do what is right for myself.

This weekend, my Man of Honor (MOH) came up and helped E and I fix our house. Our house had an insulation problem and it was causing one of the walls in our master bedroom to freeze during the winter. It was so good to see my MOH. We went out for dinner and then to a drag show. Not much has changed, drag-show-wise, during the last five years. But a lot has changed in my life. Five years ago, I was getting ready to move to the DR for a second time. Back then, I had no idea that five years later I would be married, have a dog and a house, and be finished with my law degree. Life is full of surprises. Although one aspect of my life is very much in limbo right now, I take comfort in realizing that five years from now I will find myself sitting at a drag show with my MOH and my husband and be able to look back on how much my life has changed for the better during that time. I keep reminding myself that this period of limbo is just a part of the journey.

"Game Day" is Almost Here

I may or may not be counting down the hours until Wednesday at 4:30 p.m. I also may or may not have decided on my first post-bar-exam beverage :) I had a mini panic session about the bar exam today, but luckily a DQ treat fixed that.

Studying has really taken its toll on me this week. I woke up a couple of days ago with some major upper shoulder pain; definitely a product of spending too much time reading. I did two things to cure this pain: (1) I got a 3-month membership to a therapeutic massage place by our house; and (2) I have been using Icy Hot and I feel (and smell) like an arthritic grandmother.

I have been having a hard time focusing on studying these past few days; my mind keeps wandering to how great it will be to put this exam behind me. I know that I really couldn't have studied more, so if I don't pass, I will have no regrets about my lack of effort. There is way too much information to know, and I have accepted the fact that I will not know all of it; hopefully I know enough to pass.

I have lots of fun things to look forward to after the bar exam; this is what I have planned for my first week and a half of freedom:

• having breakfast with a friend before he moves to California (I will miss him!)
• a massage to make my shoulder feel better
• my friend's bachelorette party (we are having a spa day; I can't wait for a pedicure!)
• getting a haircut
• our first wedding anniversary :)
• E taking a few days off of work so we can relax at the cabin with RatDog
• starting my job on a full-time basis
• reading for fun (I ordered a bunch of cheap, used books off of Amazon and have been getting them in the mail over the last few days)

We won't know whether we passed until October 8, so hopefully I will be able to push any anxiety that I may have out of my mind between now and then.

8.5 days of studying to go

I'm finally in the home stretch of this evil bar exam. I don't feel like I'll ever be ready, but I'm just ready for it to be over already. I can't wait to enjoy the rest of the summer, and to find out what it is like to live a life free from law school and standardized tests. Well, mostly free from standardized tests... I have another one coming up in a few months, but I'm not going to go into great detail about it, because I'm not sure that my blog is anonymous enough for that. Let's just say that I am full of surprises, and am glad that E is always up for an adventure (or at least the possibility of an adventure) :)

I feel like my renewed sense of adventure is a product of my surgery. In the last few months, I feel like I've returned to "normal"... well, the "normal" that I was before my cyst became symptomatic. Maybe this sense of "renewal" is all psychological, but I am willing to bet that at least part of it is not. My brain was pretty squished before I had surgery.

I plan on doing a blog series about my cyst and surgery after the bar exam, mostly because there is a lot of scary/bizarre anecdotal information on the internet about arachnoid cysts, and I want to provide recently diagnosed people with a more optimistic (and probably a more correct) source of information.

Yesterday I took the day off from studying. I realized that I hadn't taken a full day off from studying and class in about a month (yes, I even studied for a few hours on the 4th of July - lame!). My brain and my body didn't want to study yesterday, and I didn't feel like pushing myself. I think I made the right decision. I feel about a million times more focused today (except for this blog-writing study break, of course).

Anyway, wish me luck :) I don't know if I'll post again before the bar exam, but I will definitely update when I'm on the "other side" of this exam. Can't wait!!!

Busy Times

It's been a busy week or two since I've updated this blog. I'm pretty worried about the bar exam, and I'm really glad that E is here to take care of me and RatDog :) He's been making dinner every night, making us chocolate malts almost every night as a bedtime snack, cleaning the house, going grocery shopping, meal-planning, doing laundry, walking RatDog twice a day (I only have to take him out once a day - woohoo!). Plus, he is putting up with my bar exam induced mood swings, and still manages to tell me that he loves me several times a day (barf! I know...sorry blog-readers). Needless to say, I'm very very lucky.

Our neighbors really like lighting off fireworks. This is bad news for RatDog. Yesterday we had a thunderstorm AND people were lighting off fireworks like crazy. RatDog definitely was in panic mode. Poor guy :( Last night we took him for a walk, and while we were on the walking path, one of our lovely neighbors launched a firework ON to the walking path. I ran away, screaming. RatDog ran as fast as his little dog legs could run (faster than me). E wanted to go have a talk with the neighbor who launched the firework and tell him/her that you should launch them UP and not onto the walking path. I thought that it might be too dangerous to talk to someone who was doing that; drunk people + fireworks.... I'll stay away, thank you very much. On our walk back into the house we saw a family with little kids heading onto the same walking path that we were just on. People (our neighbors) really need to be more careful.

Anyway, our meal plan from a couple of weeks ago turned out well. The corn and potato chowder was a favorite in our house. Instead of buying the seasoning mix that the recipe calls for, we googled it and just made our own from the spices in our cupboard. It turned out great.

Last week we also tried out:

Miami Black Bean and Corn Salad

Delicious; I really liked the citrusy flavors.

Wagon Wheel Taco Pasta Salad

Yummy! But this recipe makes A LOT of pasta salad, so I would recommend making it for a potluck ... or maybe cutting the recipe in half.

Tonight we had:

Lentil Barley Skillet

We had a lot of lentils and barley in our cupboard; this was a good way to use them up. E liked it better than the lentil soup I made in January :)

Here are some recipes that E will be trying out this week:

Herbed Greek Chicken Salad

Creamy Bean Soup with Taquito Dippers

Crockpot Salsa Chicken

Crockpot Burrito Soup

Have a great week! Happy 4th of July, a day late :)

Bar Exam Studying Blahs

I'm really burnt out on studying. The stress surrounding the bar exam is making me question almost everything (except E & ratdog) about my life right now. It is terrible. I could not be productive today to save my life. I'm disappointed in myself because I had a plan for what I was supposed to get done today, but when I got home from class I worked on something else instead (not related to the bar exam). Maybe I will just take the rest of the night off and go for a walk with E & ratdog. I really need to clear my head right now.

I feel like the bar exam is taking me so far out of my comfort zone that I am "reverting" to my old tendencies. In my case, that would mean wanderlust. Every time that I get burnt out on studying, I imagine E & I selling our house (at a huge loss) and moving someplace new and different. I'm craving the feeling of being anywhere but here.

This week we have to take a two-day simulated bar exam. Rumor has it that the Bar Exam Review Class makes this simulated bar exam absolutely miserable to "scare us straight." Unfortunately, I've been "scared straight" for the past 2 weeks. One month from today, the whole thing will be over. That is simultaneously terrifying and exciting.

Still Studying...

Can't wait for the bar exam to be over. I really have nothing interesting to say; I haven't tried out a new recipe in a couple of weeks. I made a "to do" list for post bar exam life. A list of books to read and fun things that I can do, since I will have spare time (outside of work). I'm even being Type A about my free time :) Thanks a lot, law school.

One of my friends on Facebook always puts "FML" at the end of her status. I really don't like the FML website. This girl is still in high school, so I know that it probably seems cool to her :) But today I found a website that is an uplifting version of FML, and I love it. I've always loved stories from the "Chicken Soup for the Soul" genre; I'm glad to see that I'm not alone :)

More Proof That My Brain Is Fried

In my last entry, I was trying to write that because my state has a high bar passage rate, and I wasn't at the very bottom of my class, I have a good chance of passing. I read the sentence I wrote about 6 times before hitting "publish post", and at the time it made sense. 

Then a few minutes ago I realized that what I wrote made no sense whatsoever. I tried to edit it but could not figure out the right way to say it...so I deleted it :)

I could make the cliche joke about lawyers being bad at math, but I think that it makes more sense to blame it on too much time spent reading multiple choice questions (and getting them wrong!). 

89% bar passage rate... I can (hopefully) do it!

Freaking Out

Studying for the bar is making me crazy. If I think about things logically (our state has an easy bar; an 89% passage rate or something like that) I stop panicking for a few minutes. Then I do a couple of multiple choice questions and realize that I know nothing. 

I'm wondering if the bar prep course that I'm taking (it shall remain nameless, but it's a popular one...so....) was a waste of my time and money. The lectures are not cementing the law into my head at all. I think that I would have been better off buying the materials from a previous student and studying them on my own. That is how I usually learn best. Driving to class during rush hour and then sitting in class for 3.5 hours each day is burning me out. But I work for the bar prep company as a "bouncer" at the classes, so I have to attend everyday. At least I'm getting paid? 

I'm worried that I won't learn everything that I need to learn in time. I definitely don't want to take this exam more than once, so today I decided that I basically need to cut all non-work and non-bar exam studying social obligations for the rest of my summer. I'm glad that I had a fun weekend last weekend. I am "allowed" to go to my friend's upcoming bridal shower, see another friend once while he is in town this month, and that is about it. I don't want to be part of the 11% that doesn't pass. After three years of law school, what's another 2 months of studying? My summer vacation will start at the end of July this year :)

Shiny Happy People

This weekend, Becca was in town, and we (Becca, E & I) ended up driving to visit Andy; he lives close to the town where the three of us (Becca, Andy, and I) grew up.

It was so nice to be around my closest friends. My life has changed so much in the past 3 years; law school, moving to suburbia, getting married, and having surgery. These changes have been for the better, but it was still so nice to hang out with my old friends. They are so positive and they take risks (like being a freelance photographer or creating art for gallery displays) and they do what they love and love what they do. Lawyers are often referred to as being deal-breakers; part of a lawyer's job is to think about things that might go wrong and to advise their clients about how to prevent those things from happening. A lot of people in my field are negative. For the past three years, I've attended school with people who were also being trained to think negatively. So it was GREAT to be around my friends who really don't care about law school related things. I felt like myself again. It's so great to have friends that you can go months (or sometimes even years) without seeing, and when you see each other again, it's like no time has passed. I'm so lucky.

People used to say that I was a "free spirit". I don't think that I ever really was that much of a free spirit; I have always liked to plan things and to have goals for myself. I worried about things a lot; I still do. I've always wanted to know where my life is heading. However, I would like to take some of this "free spiritedness" (or whatever it was) with me into my career. Obviously I need to be able to advise clients about what they should and shouldn't be doing, and unfortunately this advice can sometimes be negative. But I still want to be a fun person to be around; someone who encourages people to be happy and to do what they want with their lives. It's so easy to get caught up in negativity; I think that I need to shut out some of these negative influences from my life. I think that this might be easier said than done, but I'm going to try it.