66 and 55

I have applied for 66 jobs since the bar exam, and have now received 11 rejections. That means that I still have a chance at 55 jobs :) Luckily, I started a new part-time contract position in my field to help pay the bills until I find a full-time job. I am learning a lot there, so that's good. I am toying with the idea of opening up my own law practice, but I feel like I need a few more months (like until February or March) to make a well-informed decision. Of course, if I find a good, full-time job before then, that would be ideal.

It is a little frustrating for me because I tend to be "Type A". I am trying to keep a positive attitude. It's easier to keep a positive attitude on the days that I go into the office. It's a little more difficult when I am spending my days off at home. I know that once I find my real full-time job, I am going to miss the freedom that I currently have during the day, though.

This past spring, I attempted to run a 5K. I didn't train for it at all. I couldn't run most of it. On Sunday I decided to start the C25K program. Today was my second day of Week 1. There are a lot of C25K podcasts that you can download and listen to while you run, so you don't have to keep track of the time. I have really enjoyed it (all 2 days) so far.

Since my surgery, I have been worried about using headphones. Apparently headphones have magnets in them, and my neurosurgeon uses a giant magnet when he wants to adjust the setting on my shunt. Magnets in headphones can reset a person's shunt. If that happened to me, I would have to go into the doctor and have him set it back to the correct setting. Because our health insurance doesn't have the best coverage ever, it is really expensive for me to go to the neurosurgeon and have him readjust my shunt. I try to go in as little as possible (especially considering my current employment situation). My shunt is located really close to my left ear, so I have just been avoiding the use of headphones.

E came to my rescue so that I could listen to a podcast while running on the C25K program. He cut the left earbud off of a set of headphones for me. Now I can listen to my headphone in my right ear while I am running. This is a little thing, but it really made all the difference for me. It's so much easier to want to exercise when I can listen to music.

40 and 7

Since the bar exam (and since I had to resign from my previous job) I have applied to 40 jobs. I have been rejected by 7 of those jobs. Well, I have been expressly rejected by 7; who knows how many others have rejected me already, but haven't told me about the rejection.

I'm not complaining. I'm proud of myself for applying to 40 jobs. The first 20 jobs that I applied to were major "reach" jobs; my dream jobs. Now that I've applied for those, I can't say that I never tried.

Today I received a rejection from a job that I had interviewed for. I am typically a good interviewer, but I felt a little "off" at this interview. Even though it would have been nice to have this job (a job, period) it really wasn't the best job for me and my "skill set."

When I graduated from undergrad in December of 2003, the economy wasn't doing so hot (although it was nothing compared to now). I got a job in my field then. Hopefully I will be able to prove myself a second time - during the Great Recession.

Hello Neglected Blog

I survived the bar exam. I won't find out whether I passed until October 8, so I am trying my best to forget about it. So far, I'm doing a pretty good job. I've only had 2 nightmares about it; way better than all of the nightmares that I had after 1L exams.

Without going into too much detail, a certain part of my life isn't working out very well right now. Luckily, I have time to straighten that out. Plenty of "down" time, in fact. As an ENFJ, I like things to be decided and I like to have things planned out. I was so happy in April when I thought that I had things planned out with that aspect of my life. Right now I am sacrificing a little bit of my sanity (the part that likes to have a clear path to follow) in order to do what is right for myself.

This weekend, my Man of Honor (MOH) came up and helped E and I fix our house. Our house had an insulation problem and it was causing one of the walls in our master bedroom to freeze during the winter. It was so good to see my MOH. We went out for dinner and then to a drag show. Not much has changed, drag-show-wise, during the last five years. But a lot has changed in my life. Five years ago, I was getting ready to move to the DR for a second time. Back then, I had no idea that five years later I would be married, have a dog and a house, and be finished with my law degree. Life is full of surprises. Although one aspect of my life is very much in limbo right now, I take comfort in realizing that five years from now I will find myself sitting at a drag show with my MOH and my husband and be able to look back on how much my life has changed for the better during that time. I keep reminding myself that this period of limbo is just a part of the journey.

Long time, no update

I'm feeling a little flakey right now. Lots of projects/end of the year stuff to finish up, and not a lot of time. My somewhat decent eating habits have gone down the drain. I've eaten a couple boxes of Girl Scout cookies on my own in the past week. Drinking too much coffee. But at least I'm taking a multivitamin.

I have some good recipes to post, but it probably won't happen for a few more days.

I've been on a few job interviews in the past 2 weeks. I think that one firm was probably looking for a 2L instead of a 3L, so I don't think I will be getting that job. Oh well, interviewing is good practice. They also wanted someone to work for them 40 hours/wk this summer, and that wouldn't be very doable while studying for the bar, so it's probably for the best.

I have another job lead, but have been playing phone tag with the possible employer, so I don't know if it's a good lead or not. Hopefully I will find out more today.

I've also interviewed with a couple legal temp agencies so that way I'm at the top of their list after the bar exam. At least if I'm working somewhere and making money (any money), I will be able to hold out longer while looking for a permanent job. I've been told that it could take between 6-12 months to find a law firm job in this economic climate. There are too many law schools in this area (which I already knew). So I definitely need to find a way to bring in some income while looking for that job. Especially once the student loans come due in December. *gulp!*

E has changed his plan for going to school. As of Fall 2009, he will probably be taking 11 credits/semester at a local university that has a more friendly night-class schedule for working adults. For the amount of money and time that he is spending at the Giant Bureaucracy University, he will be able to earn 11 credits at the Working-Adult-Friendly University. He has to switch his major from Engineering to a double major in Accounting and Math. But he is going to try it out for a year, and then after Spring 2010, we will have a better idea of whether an Engineering major will be possible. Since there are no more night classes available in his major at Giant Bureaucracy University, and because he gets tuition reimbursement, there is really nothing for him to lose by trying this out. He took a Myers Brigg test, and Accounting came up as a top career choice for him, so it's not a totally crazy idea.

E & I also found a church in our suburbia to join, so I am going to New Member Classes (E can't make it, because it's during his lab). It is making me feel more like I "belong" in our suburbia land. It's good to meet some of our neighbors.

Alright, I think that's all for now. I need to miraculously write a paper on Saturday. I woke up at 4:30 this morning and have been working on it until a few minutes ago, so I think it's possible that I will finish it tomorrow. Cross your fingers for me :)

Updates

I finally got over my sinus infection. Thank God. It was not very pleasant. Also, it's sunny and somewhat warm here, so that is nice :)

I'm trying to be more optimistic about the job search. I've started applying to jobs where a J.D. is an asset but not a necessity. They are jobs that I would enjoy working at, and where I would still be helping people. Hopefully something will eventually pan out. The job descriptions for the positions to which I am applying are jobs that I think would be a really good "fit" for me. I feel like I would be happy working at them. This makes me feel more optimistic, too.

I am pretty sure that my tube moved to my left side (instead of hanging straight down). It's causing me some pain, but I know that it could be worse. And I will either get used to it soon, or it will move again. I know that I could have it much much worse. A girl from my h.s. just found out that she has an orange-sized tumor in her brain. She is having neurosurgery this week. I hope that it isn't cancerous, and I hope that she makes a speedy recovery. I'm so thankful that my problem wasn't a tumor. An arachnoid cyst (even a huge one) really isn't a big deal at all.

Now for some recipe updates.

We tried the chicken stew recipe. I couldn't taste it (thanks a lot, sinuses!). But E really enjoyed it, so it must have been good :) I froze 4 chicken thighs, some bacon, tomato paste and chicken stock, so we can recreate the meal in a month or so without having to buy very many ingredients.

We also made a beef barley soup in the crockpot. Again, thanks to the sinuses, I couldn't taste it. The only thing that I could taste was the thyme, and it was actually overwhelming to me. But, again, E enjoyed it. We got a lot of leftovers, and we had some to freeze. So that's good :)

Plans

The job market, our house and its issues, and this weather have been making me feel pretty down lately. I felt so happy after my surgery was over, that I am disappointed in myself for letting my emotions swing down so quickly. Yesterday we had our first January thaw (I think). It was great.

E & I went out for lunch and talked about how our goals need to change. The plan was originally for E to go back to school full-time when I graduate. It doesn't seem like that is possible in this economy, and it is probably a bad idea right now. We already have our house mortgage, and thanks to me we also have my student loans to deal with. We can't afford to pay out of pocket for him to attend school full-time, and we definitely aren't going to take out loans to pay for his tuition until I have a full-time secure job with health benefits.

The other problem is how we will pay for our living expenses (especially since we are "grown-ups" with a mortgage) while he is in school. We can take out loans for those, but the thought of putting ourselves "in the hole" even more is pretty nauseating. He's going to keep on taking night classes, and we are going to start searching for scholarships (even $500 or $1000 scholarships) for him to apply for so we can cut down on the amount of money we will have to borrow. He will also work part-time while in school. It is really annoying that he can't keep his current job and attend the I.T. full-time. Most of the classes that he needs to take are not offered at night. It is really annoying. It makes it almost impossible for him to get his degree while still holding down a job. And the tuition is so expensive, especially considering that it's a public university. All in all, I know that I will never donate money to that school (if I ever have money to give).

It's also depressing because I don't know how we are ever going to be able to afford to pay for our own kids to go to school someday, especially when we will still be paying off our own student loans. I can only imagine that college prices are going to continue increasing. Maybe we shouldn't have kids at all.

Although the tone of this post is depressing, we really are feeling better about things. Basically E's thought is that he has a good and stable (knock on wood) job in this economy and it pays the bills. It would be pretty crazy to quit working there in order to go to school and incur more debt right now. Especially when the legal job market is on the downswing, so my contribution to our income is not guaranteed.

I regret my decision to go to law school every day. I wish that E had gone to school full-time instead. It would have been a better use of our money. I hope that I forgive myself for making such a dumb decision.

Last night my thought was: some people have great careers and some people have great economic success and some people have great love in their life. At least we have one of the three :) And that is probably the most important one.

Hiring Freezes

Last week I met with the CEO of my dream job. She told me (which I already knew) that due to the economy they are not even filling open positions right now. It was extremely depressing to hear. She had no solid career advice for me. She was only able to tell me about all of the other employers who are also not hiring. I can only hope that things improve by October when I get my (hopefully positive) bar exam results.

It was very heartbreaking for me, because I have done everything I can to prepare for that career. I took lower paying summer clerkships in that field the past two summers. I volunteered during the school year. Now I am finding out that it might not matter. I'm worried that my resume now looks too "specialized" and as a result it will be hard to land a job in a different practice area. I am disappointed in myself and find myself regretting the decision to sign up for law school; hating myself for it. I can only hope that things will improve and that I will be able to get my dream job, or that someone will hire me and pay me enough to keep up with my student loan payments.

Because we own a house that has now decreased greatly in value (we only have negative equity right now), relocation is not a realistic option.

After seeing the news about yesterday's layoffs, it's hard to imagine that anyone will ever want to hire me when I graduate.